When You Make More
- Jennifer Lopez

So, you can pay your own rent, buy your own car, you even own three Gucci bags, you have an office, (not a cubicle) and you go you vacation at least once a year. Your highlights are always fresh, your makeup reads MAC or Stila, and Tiffany’s is your only accessory. You walk down the streets and heads turn. You are successful, you have money, AND you’re a female.

Nowadays young women are filling their resumes, (and bank accounts) with high-powered and high paying jobs. But fifty years ago a college educated women was rare, and a college-educated woman with a career was even more of a rarity. Raising children was a woman’s top priority. While the men went to work, women went grocery shopping, wore knee length skirts and rarely bought take out, opting for the proverbial home cooked meal.

We've come along way, baby! Now the question is, how does your man feel about that? Does your boyfriend hate when you buy him gifts? Does he refuse to let you pay for dinner? Does he hate his 9-5 while you love or can bare yours?

The innate feeling of wanting to provide is still a dominant feature in today’s man (well atleast some of them), wanting to take care of not only himself but his girlfriend/fiancé/wife. When a woman’s check equals or is more than that of her ‘significant other’ it may leave her mate feeling like less.

Take *Joe for example. His girlfriend pays the rent and he pays the utilities. Why? Because she makes more money and can afford to do so. Never does she rub her big pay checks in his face but Joe still feels like less of a person, although they are sharing one life. “It’s not that I’m not happy for her. I know that she’s worked hard to get where she is but I just feel as though I’m not doing my part.” Joe told me when I asked about their arrangement. His girlfriend *Andrea doesn’t mind the arrangement and is happier living with him and paying the rent, than living without him. “I’d be paying this much in rent either way. At least now, I don’t pay the utilities and I have him to share everything with. I love living with him and don’t mind that I pick up the slack, what else is a big pay check for?”

Since Andrea is the ‘bread winner’ in the relationship Joe believes she has more authority. “It’s like she can call the shots because it’s mostly her money we’re spending.” Andrea doesn’t believe this is the truth at all. “We make decisions together; we clear everything with one another. I don’t understand; if Joe was making more money, it wouldn’t be an issue, it’s because I’m the woman. But we are equally educated so why shouldn’t everyone expect equality in pay? So I make more? Who cares?"

Who cares? The guys do, that’s who. Whether they are semi-comfortable with it, 75% comfortable with it, or totally uncomfortable. Every man I talked to admitted that if their woman made more money it would be somewhat of an issue. “It comes down to being able to take care of the person you are with.” Joe says. “And right now, I can’t do that.” Men still feel as though it’s their responsibility to make the ends meet. But if there are two people in a relationship, why shouldn’t two people contribute?

So when you are bringing home the big bucks make sure you have a guy who is secure enough to handle it. You shouldn't feel bad because you happen to make more and in return he shouldn't make you feel like having a big pay check is a blow to him. If he can't handle it then you know what to do.

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