It’s not that easy to just trust someone or is it?  As children we trusted completely without fear until we were given a reason not to.  Now that we’re all grown up and have experienced random disappointments and betrayals, distrust has become the norm. 

A majority of romantic relationships are spent waiting for the second shoe to drop; when all the while, we could’ve been happy. We could’ve been giving ourselves fully and getting the same in return.  Instead we two step around happiness, letting the fear and distrust consume us until we start to seek out any little flaw; hence sabotaging our relationship.

When we meet a person that we’re interested in, we try so hard to size them up because we’re not going to believe what they tell us anyway; they could be lying. So, we convince ourselves that it’s best to investigate. We watch their body language, listen closely to the things they tell us about themselves; trying hard to read in between the lines. We constantly look for signs that they could be lying about not having a mate, not having children or even their careers. We even double back and ask them about something they already told us just to see if they would say something different!

Seriously, no matter how much we think these tactics are warranted; they really don’t work to our advantage. Distrusting so much doesn’t give the sincere ones a chance. It doesn’t allow you to clearly see who you’re dealing with. Therefore, we end up letting someone who is not sincere into our life and dismissing someone who could’ve become special or at the very least a very good friend.

I find that the most distrustful person is indeed the most sensitive and insecure.  Some where in their past, they gave themselves completely and got hurt; never to fully recover.  We do take a chance each time we start a new relationship, and for those of us who have a hard time trusting, it can be emotionally taxing. There is definitely a fine line between regaining that childlike innocence that allows us to trust each other without question and being naïve and gullible. Ask yourself what you are looking for in a mate. Trust yourself and trust your decisions. Like loving yourself, trusting yourself makes it that much easier to trust others. If that person turns out to have misrepresented themselves then you’ll be that much knowledgeable next time around.

Let’s face it…we all have trust issues, but how tightly do we hang on to them? When is it time to let go of past hurts, open yourself up and trust the one you’re with?   

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