It’s not that easy to just
trust someone or is it? As children we trusted completely
without fear until we were given a reason not to. Now that
we’re all grown up and have experienced random disappointments
and betrayals, distrust has become the norm.
A majority of romantic relationships are spent waiting for the
second shoe to drop; when all the while, we could’ve been
happy. We could’ve been giving ourselves fully and getting
the same in return. Instead we two step around happiness,
letting the fear and distrust consume us until we start to seek
out any little flaw; hence sabotaging our relationship.
When we meet a person that we’re interested in, we try so
hard to size them up because we’re not going to believe what
they tell us anyway; they could be lying. So, we convince ourselves
that it’s best to investigate. We watch their body language,
listen closely to the things they tell us about themselves; trying
hard to read in between the lines. We constantly look for signs
that they could be lying about not having a mate, not having children
or even their careers. We even double back and ask them about something
they already told us just to see if they would say something different!
Seriously, no matter how much we think these tactics are warranted;
they really don’t work to our advantage. Distrusting so much
doesn’t give the sincere ones a chance. It doesn’t
allow you to clearly see who you’re dealing with. Therefore,
we end up letting someone who is not sincere into our life and
dismissing someone who could’ve become special or at the
very least a very good friend.
I find that the most distrustful person is indeed the most sensitive
and insecure. Some where in their past, they gave themselves
completely and got hurt; never to fully recover. We do take
a chance each time we start a new relationship, and for those of
us who have a hard time trusting, it can be emotionally taxing.
There is definitely a fine line between regaining that childlike
innocence that allows us to trust each other without question and
being naïve and gullible. Ask yourself what you are looking
for in a mate. Trust yourself and trust your decisions. Like loving
yourself, trusting yourself makes it that much easier to trust
others. If that person turns out to have misrepresented themselves
then you’ll be that much knowledgeable next time around.
Let’s face it…we all have trust issues, but how tightly
do we hang on to them? When is it time to let go of past hurts,
open yourself up and trust the one you’re
with?
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