The One
- Jonquil Harris

Whether or not they’re willing to admit it, everyone is on the prowl for someone to love.  There are even companies and websites whose sole purpose is to find just that – BlackPlanet.com, Match.com and eHarmony.com are just a few who promise to provide you with the mate you were destined to be with through questionnaires and profile posts.  In actuality, finding the love of your life is a culmination of many factors – your mind state, your attitude towards life and love and most importantly your attitude towards men.  Having an open mind and willingness to meet new people without pressed thoughts of future commitment allows you time to get to know someone.  Analyzing every word, thought and situation within a relationship takes away from the total experience.  Having a healthy attitude towards men and relationships in general is key.  Women who tend to dwell on their past involvements fall prey to repeating the same doomed relationships, thereby glazing over potential suitors who have their best interests at heart.

Traditional thought leads us to believe that butterflies in the tummy, sleepless nights and constant daydreaming are the epitome of true love.  While some of these qualities may ring true for some, real love is a continuous emotional experience filled with rollercoaster emotions, laughter, heartache and tears.  There’s no formula to it and certainly no rhyme or reason.  The bottom line is, you just know when you’ve found it – you won’t need to rely on your girlfriends to tell you whether or not you’ve got a catch, you won’t wonder what you’re missing if you commit the rest of your life to this individual and you won’t make that list of pros and cons to see if he’s worth keeping around.   The natural high of love erases all doubt.

The bigger question that begs to be asked is “Now that I’ve found love, will he be my one and only?”

Traditionally and biblically, we are taught that we will meet one person, marry them and live happily ever after ever.  But realistically, today’s divorce rates are sadly high and more and more women are wondering if they will ever find a single individual to share their lives with.  I’ve heard more than a few men say that they’ve had three loves in their lives and the third is the one that makes it until the end.  The first two are usually the mother of their child or a high school crush turned sour.  It is certainly possible to love more than one person over the span of a lifetime but these feelings will be experienced in varying degrees from one love to the next and you will undoubtedly learn more about yourself within these relationships.  Each encounter better prepares you for the next and only time will tell if he’s the one for now or the one forever.  The most important things to take away from these relationships are thankfulness for having known and loved this person and to leave that relationship where it belongs – in the past.   You never know, that next great love may be waiting right around the corner.

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