If you’re like me, you grew up without your mother talking much about sex- except to tell you not to have it.  As you can imagine, this unwillingness to talk about sex resulted in a lot of unanswered questions and feelings of insecurity.  It wasn’t until I was in a relationship with someone much more sexually adventurous that I realized the depth of my inexperience.  It was very difficult for me to experiment within the relationship because I hadn’t figured out my sexual likes and dislikes without a partner.  When that romance faded and I found myself single, I decided that it was time for me to try my first vibrator.  I thought that it would be a good way for me to figure out how comfortable I was with expressing myself sexually.

I didn’t know what to expect when I took my first trip to an adult novelty store.  I walked through the door into a large room whose walls were covered from floor to ceiling with adult toys and I thought to myself, “I don’t know if I’m ready to do this.”  Buying a toy is a very personal decision and requires an understanding of why you’re looking to buy it and how you plan on using it.  I didn’t really figure those things out before I made the trip.  I left the store that day without purchasing anything and started to think of questions that would help guide my purchase.  Then I figured out what products would be a good fit.  I can now share what I’ve learned with you so the next time a girlfriend asks you what toys she should buy you can pass on your womanly wisdom.

1. Do I plan on always using it alone or would I eventually introduce it to a partner?  Communication is important when introducing a toy into the bedroom.  You want to choose something that both parties are comfortable with.  A vibrating erection ring would be a great compromise.  It provides the woman with clitoral stimulation while also helping the man to last longer in bed.  Plus, it’s so small and inconspicuous it doesn’t distract from the main event.

2. How did I prefer to be stimulated? Clitorally, vaginally, or a combination of both. Many toys such as the Jack Rabbit stimulate more than one area at a time so it’s kind of like getting two or three products all rolled into one.

3. What level of vibration did I want?  Since I had no experience with these products, I thought that the best solution would be to get a toy that has variable settings such as a bullet. This way I could start on low and gradually increase the level of vibrations if necessary.

Did I want something that had a discreet appearance?  There are a number of toys such as the I Rub My Duckie which can be easily kept out in the open without anyone being the wiser.

Nicole Matthias is the owner of BadFun.com an upscale online adult boutique that features erotic toys and accessories. For more information on products and advice that can help you explore your sexuality visit http://www.badfun.com

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