 Ladies,
remember when you were five or six and the popular game in school
during recess was playing house. You would cross your fingers
and hope your crush would agree to be your husband and your best
friends would play your adoring kids. You would cook, clean,
iron, and feed the kids all within one hour without breaking
a sweat! Back then the concept of playing house involved a husband
and wife, fast forward 20 years and many of us are still playing,
only this time there is no husband. Whether by choice or circumstance
many couples are opting to live together before getting engaged
or married. Now, I’m no advocate for waiting until
after the wedding to share an address, but I do believe that
you should get the ring before you decide to move in if matrimony
is what you want. It’s like the old saying goes “Why
should he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free!”
If you
hope to say ‘I do” sooner than later playing house
might just get you played. Giving a man a “lease” with
an “option to buy” can be detrimental to the relationship.
While there is no guarantee of wedding bliss with any relationship
regardless of your living arrangement, playing the role of a
wife without actually being one can leave you feeling bitter
and resentful. Supporters of my theory also feel living together
before marriage takes all the excitement out of being a newlywed,
or more importantly it takes a man longer to propose. On the
contrary, others argue the only way to get to know a person is
by living with them, and if things don’t work out you can
save yourself a lot of time and money. Truthfully everyone is
going to have an opinion and each experience is going to be different,
so there is really no right or wrong answer to whether you should
live with him or not. But before taking the cohabitation plunge,
take a moment and ask yourself these following five questions,
sometimes a little relationship and self evaluation can go a
long way.
- Are you both ready to marry right now? -
If so, set a deadline on how long this living arrangement should
last, get engaged or get moving. Often times we want to be
married so bad we settle for the closest thing to it in hopes
that he will realize that we are really the one. Only to become
disappointed when our expectations are not met.
- .Have you had a heart to heart? : It’s
important to talk openly and honestly with your man about how
you both view and feel about living together. Surprisingly, men
and women often view living together differently. You might learn
that his perspective and plans don’t align with yours.
Remember, living together requires additional compromise, and
if your goals are not on the same page or a least the same chapter,
you might be heading for a disaster.
- Setting examples – are there children
involved? If there are children involved, especially girls, moving
in with a man other than your fiancee or the child’s father
should really be out of the question. If he is not in it for
the long haul bringing your child into unstable territory is
not only unfair but selfish.
- What is there to gain? : Besides help with
the bills, S.O.D. (sex on demand), and having someone else take
out the garbage. What will you benefit from the situation?
- Lastly, in regards to benefits, are you willing
to accept and live the life of a wife without the benefits of
being one? You know, there are extra points and rewards you get
when you say I do and the law honors and protects you, your relationship
and your assets. end
Image
From : Stockbyte
|
