 Finally, that
guy you have been dreaming about has arrived at your door
step—the total package! He’s honest, trustworthy,
reliable, and just an all around prince charming. He
may have a few flaws, but who cares? His flaws have
nothing on the good things he has going for himself. He is
intelligent, has his career on track and did not major in drama
(get it). Any woman in her right mind would absolutely fall
to his feet and cater to his every need. What do some
women do when such a man is presented to them? They run him
away!
Too Much to Carry
When it comes to break-ups, men
are not always at fault. As women, some of us become
very cautious about what to say or do in new relationship because
of our rocky pasts. So you had one too many bad relationships,
let it go. We tend to hold on to emotional wreckage
for way too long. The phrase: One man’s trash
is another man’s treasure is so true. Just
because your last boyfriend didn’t like how you popped
your gum, your independence, or even the way you snap back
when he said something you didn’t like. It doesn’t
mean the new guy will be the same. In fact, he may love
your sassiness and overall persona. Be mindful about
carrying old baggage into a new relationship because it may
eventually weigh you down.
What is the real reason women hold on to past
relationships? Are we so involved with our feelings that
we fail to realize the other half of the relationship? To
a certain degree, there is a touch of selfishness. Here’s
a great guy ready to be different from all the others, and all
you can think about is how much he is going to hurt you. He
hasn’t done anything to indicate he’s going to, nor
has he said anything to hurt you. The only thing he
has done is be there when you needed him, listen to you whine about
the last relationship and given you all of his attention. If
that isn’t enough to drop baggage at the door, then what
is?
Sending the Wrong Message
“I think
women bring baggage into a new relationship because they've
gone through so much that it's a cycle and just like
anything else, it's hard to break that cycle. They only do
what they're used to doing and if they're used to the guy being
no good, then they'll suspect it before they have any reason
to and no matter how good the guy is, they'll only look for
the negative things that that person does” says Corey,
23. Corey is a normal guy who has experience this time
and time again. And many men, like Corey, get the wrong
message from a woman when she continues to do this.
Bringing baggage into a relationship gives off
a few messages to men:
- It makes you look bad. Bringing
something old into something new is like bringing sand to the
beach. There is no need for it. New relationships
should always have their own difficulties and Kodak moments. The
only thing that should be brought into a new relationship from
the past is learning from any mistakes you’ve made. And
if you truly learned from them, then it should have a positive
impact on you and your relationship.
- Men will have a false perception of
your personality. You may not be bitter but what
else is he suppose to think when you’re taking things out
on him that has nothing to do with what’s going on now.
- He feels he can never make you happy. Deep
down you know he can because he’s the best you ever had. It
is in a man’s nature to feel wanted and needed as a man,
but if he thinks your heart is so filled with hatred from the
past then there’s no room for him in there.
- You may still be in love with your
ex. Now think about it, if you always talking about him,
he’s still on your mind. Anyone who has hurt you
should be a page in your history book. But when you constantly
think of things your ex use to do, then deep down there is some
feeling for him, isn’t there?
Ladies, we need to stop being selfish and think
about his feelings too. Not having the faith in him to love
you like you deserve can hurt him as well, especially a man who
is in love with you. We should recognize the fact that not
every man is like the ex and if it were so, we wouldn’t date
the guy who is just like him again. Instead we date the total
opposite, so why bring baggage from an old relationship to a guy
who is nothing like the man before. |
