Her Life, Her Decisions, Your Headache
- Rashana Hooks

Some of our friends make the stupidest mistakes and decisions in their lives in which many times involves a man or lack there of. As a result you are often the designated shoulder to cry on and complain to. But what happens when you have had enough of her ignorant behavior and poor choices? Do you risk her feelings and possibly the friendship and tell her how much of an idiot you think she is or do you remain silent and keep the disappointment of her to yourself? Or do you decide to end the friendship because you have had enough?

Of course if you are true friend you only want the best for your friends. You try to keep them away from harm and pain by giving them good advice and support when needed. But sometimes your friend does not take your opinion and advice into consideration and as a result makes the dumbest mistakes known to man. I may be exaggerating a bit, but I’m sure you have felt that way before. Granted you may not know everything but you do know when her choices are just not right for her. When realizing that she just does not get it, what should you do? In my experience with this situation I have learned three things. One is that a true friend accepts people for who they are regardless if they don’t make the decisions we think they should be making. Second, although hard, when we find ourselves asking “What the hell was she thinking?” all the time and constantly disagreeing on her choices and actions it’s possible that the relationship can be growing apart and it may be time to walk away. Lastly, everyone has had different experiences in life that ultimately affect the choices they make. Therefore a friend making horrible mistakes in your eyes may only be reacting to her own experiences. 

In these circumstances deciding which solution is best for YOU are needed. I stress the word you because many times in friendships with friends who constantly have drama, the relationship tends to be one-sided with you always giving your support and healing her through pain and struggles. There is never time for your needs because the focal point is always on her issues. That is why you must ask yourself how much value is in the relationship to determine should you remain in the friendship or not. Value doesn’t necessarily mean extreme worth it’s just a measure used to determine if both friends are getting their equal share of needs out of the relationship. So don’t think giving up a relationship is an extreme lost because sometimes it’s a tremendous gain. Also friendships should not be measured in quantity but rather its quality. Just because you have been friends for many years doesn’t mean you should stick around because of that.

 There is no denying that deciding the fate of a friendship is hard. Watching a friend make bad choices and struggle is hard to do, but whether you decide to accept her for who she is and love and support her regardless or if you decide to love her from a distance and end the relationship because you two have grown apart its important to remember that we are all humans who are guaranteed to make mistakes and have shortcomings. Some of us will learn from them and some of us won’t.

Until next time,
Rashana

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