Double Standard
- Adrina Nelson

WHAT REAL WOMEN WANT

In my  last article, “For the Love Money”, I talked about gold digging women and their quest to gaining a man’s fortune.   There are women who expect a man to be financially stable, and unfortunately, she can be perceived as a gold digger.  Not true!  The difference is she is has her own money and only expects to get a man who can equally contribute to the relationship.  She does not want his money, but she wants to be comfortable in knowing that he can pick up the check.   Besides, after a certain age, women date to seek potential husbands.  Traditionally, men are supposed to take care of the household, but in this day in age women can support themselves. So a man definitely needs to bring something to the table other than a fork and spoon. Let me be clear on something.  It is not just about a guy having money.  It also entails whether he can manage his money or not and prioritize when spending it.  If he will buy Air Force Ones and sit in the dark, he is definitely not the guy no matter how much money he has.  Just because a woman has money on her list in looking for Mr. Right, does not mean she is a gold digger she’s just being honest. 

DOUBLE STANDARD?

But wait, ladies, are men just as picky as you?  For the most part, and not in all cases, men seek women that look like runway models.  She has to have a certain stature and sexiness about her; otherwise, they throw her a bone. It is evident that all men are visual creations.  They seek the prize and go after it, plain and simple.  So quite naturally, the first thing on their list in seeking “Ms. Right” is physical appearances. How thick is she? Is her hair done? Is her outfit on point? Don’t get me wrong, this is the case for both men and women.  However, in some cases, women will take the time to get to know a guy who isn’t that attractive.  Later, she will see certain qualities in him that makes him more attractive, and eventually may start dating the guy.  For a lot of guys, if a girl is not attractive to them, she’s not.  They can get to know her, and she can be the best thing since slice bread, but they will have no physical attraction to her at all.  And even if a guy is hung up on how a woman looks, he is not given a negative label.  For example, it’s easy for all the guys in the neighborhood to want this one girl who is just drop dead gorgeous.  The guy who gets her is “the man”.  When women go after a guy who has the same status, they are considered “groupies” for trying to get with him.  As I stated earlier, when women put money at the top of the list in meeting a man she is called a gold digger when that same guy wouldn't’t give her the time of day if she wasn’t up to his physical standards.  Does this give men a “gold digging” mentality to looks? Not necessarily.

SAME GOAL, DIFFERENT TACTIC

The number one traits we look for in a mate are different among males and females.  Women are more emotionally intact, and men are more physically intact.  Neither is better than the other because both are important when dating.  Because women are more emotional, we will get to know a guy first, and during that conversation, what he does for a living will come up because one can not live on love alone.  It is important to men that his girl is a “dime”. Once a woman passes their visual test, then he gets to know her. When anyone walks down the street you don’t see their personality, just their face and body shape.  There is no harm in going after looks (we’re all human), but there is a thin line between wanting a good-looking woman and just being shallow.  The most important thing is to look pass material and physical appearances because neither is preserved.  As we get older, we do not look as fine as when we were 20, and money comes and goes.  To love someone despite their faults and to have them love you unconditionally is a bond that is definitely worth preserving. end

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