When He Doesn't Want To Commit

Written by administrator /// Find in Love, Sex, Etc

In today's modern age, men and women are in pursuit of making money more than ever. Adults are taking longer to build satisfying careers, purchase homes, and start families. Putting off long term commitments.

Unfortunately, one thing that has yet to evolve with this new age - is a woman's biological make-up. Our eggs gow older with each passing year. So do we have a right to be concerned when our boyfriends are not ready to commit to happily ever after?

Although it seems in Hollywood, that getting married is the new "dating", it's not that way in the real world. Perhaps it is a matter of economics, or maybe that's an easy excuse to use when they are just afraid of commitment.

According to one source, "Most men like want to achieve some sort of career success before they commit to marriage. How are you going to take care of a family if you can't even take care of yourself. Even if the wife works, being able to financially take care of them with or without their income is very important to most men I know."

He has a point. but what about the women who are ready to jump in the trenches with their men? What about building a life together - struggle and all. Does everyone have to be on rock solid footing before marriage?

Well, it wouldn't hurt as financial issues are the #1 problem in marriages today.

Things to consider...

How old the two of you are
do you both want the same or similar things out of life
How well do you know each other
Do you both have jobs/careers
Do you have children in or outside of the relationship
Are you happy in the relationship

Things to avoid...

Pressuring someone to commit
Believeing that is your fault if he won't commit
Obsessing about making a commitment
Waiting too long to make a decision about the relationship

Things To Do...

Ask for what you want
Ask him to be hones about his fears of commitment
Re-evaluate the progress of your relationship periodically
cut your losses if this hill seems to insurmountable to climb

Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and an online advice expert. She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998.