The Double Standard of Cheating

Written by Empress Magazine /// Find in Love, Sex, Etc

Winston & Peggy Bennett

ESPN recently profiled Winston Bennett a former basketball protégé and ex -NBA player who played for the Cavaliers. (the video can be seen below)

In the interview, Winston talks about his sexual addiction. At the height of his addiction, he was sleeping with 4 different women per day, 90 different women per month and he said he rarely used protection.

Winston also has been married for 20 years. His wife, Peggy found out about his first affair very soon after they were married. Each time she found out he cheated, she forgave him in the hopes that he would change. He gave her 2 STD’s and years of this form of abuse until she finally threatened him with divorce. It was then, even after a failed sex rehab stint, he decided to straighten up.

Around the 10:23 mark, the interviewer asks, “If your wife were to do what you did or cheat on you, would you forgive her? He answered saying, if she cheated, he would leave and the psyche of a man is that there are always more fish in the sea. When asked how she felt about his response to that question, Peggy says “It’s a very hurtful feeling”

It’s a known double standard that when men cheat they are more likely to be forgiven than when a woman cheats. When a man cheats its almost seems like it is sometimes expected for the woman to stay and work it out since the perception is “most men cheat anyway”.

Case in point, Winston Bennett- although he had a “sexual addiction” he cheated on his wife for their entire marriage and gave her 2 STD’s but when asked if he would forgive her for cheating even once, he said no, he would leave.

What makes men think its ok to walk around and what they do unto others can’t be done unto them? Is it the girlfriend’s/wife’s fault that stays with her cheating man knowing the same forgiveness would not be shown if the shoe was on the other foot?

I will say that I appreciated his honesty but am somewhat disappointed in the way his wife seemed like the victim. When Peggy finally stood up for herself and wanted a divorce, Winston wanted to straighten up and recommit to his marriage. When faced with a real consequence that would hurt him the most he made a conscious decision to change which means Peggy had the power all along. Why couldn’t she see that?