Searching For My Mr.

Written by Empress Magazine /// Find in Love, Sex, Etc

Here we go again. Another video telling us what we kind of already know. It hard for a Black Woman to find the right Black Man and ultimately get MARRIED.

Thoughts? Are we too picky or Do we deserve to be picky? For all of you out there in a relationship, are you with your Mr. Right or settling because you don't think you will be able to find another suitable mate?

thx to @youngNblackNYC for the link

Lets Talk

Comments (3)

3 Wednesday, 17 February 2010 20:37

whitley_gillbert

Here is what jumps out at me:

1. Black men no longer only date Black women, but we almost exclusively date them. Is that because Black women are almost only exclusively attractive to Black men? Why is it that in general; Black women are not pursued by men of other races? I am fairly "passable" for any number of ethnicities, but ever since I started wearing my hair in its natural state men of other races no longer look twice at me. WHY?? Is Blackness that undesirable and unattractive in this country? Or is my natural hair speaking all on its own about the woman I am? (ie. the angry, aggressive Black woman)

2. Black women have been made to raise families on their own, deserted by Black men and tossed aside for a whiter alternative. They have(don't deny) become jaded, angry, and they by default teach this to their daughters who are also seeing Black men as family abandoners and generally not desirable characters. Black men also learn how to be men from women, hardly an ideal teacher, but in some situations adequate. So some of them lack the ability to really function in a leading way in their personal lives.

3. Black women are so resilient however, we still see the Black man as the ultimate reflection of our womanhood. We hold them up on pedestals and desperately want them to be who they once were. I'm not saying that Black men are no longer the providers they once were but we all know that less and less of them are available and more and more of them are choosing to start families elsewhere.

So....

All of these thoughts lead where?

I believe that we as Black women need to be realistic and realize that for the time being a Black man might not be our fate. We also need to be more proactive and pursue men of other races if we truly want to be married, and stable. There is no reason to settle, but closing our mind to options only hurts us and our happiness. We have to learn to do what it seems most everyone else has done, see past color into the person behind it. This is easier said than done, but if we don't, we'll be single!

2 Monday, 15 February 2010 11:18

Ms.Lotus

This topic is in the media, but in reality many of us are living it. I won't even go into detail about the black male Pro atheletes and who they choose to settle down with, but the verdict is clear that black women will have to put in more effort to end up with "prince charming" in the end.

As a black woman that is college educated, I find that it is sometimes harder for me. I honestly don't want to settle. When I do date, I often wonder about what else is out there. Even though I'm not thinking about marriage at this point in my life, when I do get married, I do want to marry a black man. This idea is becoming more and more problematic. Our black men are incarcerated, marrying outside of the race, and there is fewer of them in numbers. At the end of the day, many women just give up and just settle for whatever is available.

1 Friday, 12 February 2010 20:23

afroperm

Doesn't the media say its "always hard for a black woman"? Life is as hard as you make it.

As a single woman, I could've been wifed up a long time ago but I wasn't ready for it or not willing to settle. I think there are good black man out there it's just meeting them. Also, we shouldn't limit ourselves, date outside your race if you feel.

I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be at the right place at the right time, even if it feels like the wrong time.