Does Size REALLY Matter?

Written by Empress Magazine /// Find in Love, Sex, Etc

sex_life

Ok so we always hear through TV, movies even commercials that the size of a mans' package matter. Some of us know even from first hand experience in our own sexual relationships the difference size can make but does it REALLY matter in terms of a having a fulfilling sex-life and relationship?

Most of our lives we are taught the bigger the better, the bigger the bank account -the more money, the bigger- the house more space, the bigger the dick - more pleasure , or is it? I mean, yes technically the more you have of something is in fact that - more, it is abundant. But more does not always equal better. Sometimes I wonder if the search for bigger and better is a psychological battle we are never meant to win.

Some women are basically just size queens, they like guys with big packages. Even if a guy with a small or normal size package came along that knew how to please them sexually, it wouldn't matter to the size queen because in their mind, the actual size of the man is a necessary part of the pleasure.

Recently, I watched Chilli's reality show "What Chilli Wants" and in it she lists the requirements of her husband, one of them was him having a big package. But in reality - a big package doesn't mean the guy knows what to do with it. Shouldn't her requirement be a man that she can have great and passionate sex with? I think simply adding the tool as the requirement and not the way in which the tool will be used as the requirement is Chilli's (and a lot of womens') mistake.

I have been with and know women who have been with guys with huge mandigo packages and they hated it. The guy didn't know what he was doing or there was no passion. Obviously, most women would at least want a guy with a normal size and nothing abnormally small, I mean we do have to feel something. BUT - what about the girls who stay with a guy just because he is well endowed and the guy is a complete jerk, she may be sexually pleased but miserable. Or, he is well endowed and the sex is just ok- but because she is in love more with the idea of his big dick rather than how it makes her feel- she stays.

I'm not saying women can't know what they want when it comes to sexual preferences in the bedroom, but to put a requirement on something for the wrong reasons will have you losing out in the end. Maybe the average size guy with the great personality and who treats you like a queen is who you should end up with. If you do find the guy that has it all, and I mean has it ALL, including a big dick then more power to you but big does not equal pleasure. So stop chasing or being critical of the wrong things, maybe then you will stop ending up with the wrong man.

Comments (2)

2 Wednesday, 28 April 2010 09:41

deedee

Ok so i didnt read this whole article.. but hella yea size matters, i dont wanna feel a pinky finger in my, i rather feel a thick cucumber, or a nicely curved banana.LOL .. wink wink.

1 Thursday, 15 April 2010 12:24

au_naturale

After reading this article, I can say one thing: this sounds as if written by a male.

How can you ask us if size really matters? Males can feel the difference in when a woman is loose (meaning, she’s been with a number of males), so what makes you think we can’t feel the difference in how big you all are?

We need length because the way our bodies are made, and no, they are not the same as yours, we need certain spots to be hit. Why do you think we scream? Der, you’ve hit that spot for us! A man with a small package can’t do that for us. This is not to say that he can’t please us sexually period. It’s just to say, that from time to time, we need that spot hit. If his length is not there, then we are dissatisfied. We need width because if you’re the best at it, we’d like to curve to you. I thought men discussed that. Well, they did in that movie with Taye Diggs and Morris Chesnutt. We have to have both. There’s no sense in being with a man who can’t fill you up completely, in and around.

Now, to get other pleasure from sex, any man who works at it can accomplish this. However, not all women want or even enjoy oral sex. Yes, you can make us have an orgasm from it, but if that’s all you can do sexually, then it’s ‘on to the next one’ like ya boy Jay-Z said.

There’s nothing wrong with having stipulations on what we want in someone sexually. Now, do not misunderstand me. I watched the same show as you. I will agree, some of Chili’s requirements were a bit ridiculous. She started listing them, I got up and went to the bathroom, came back and she was still listing them. That’s too much! But, pretty much all she said was that she wanted a man with a big package when it comes to sex. She didn’t say that he had to eat it night and day, strip for her in the bedroom, make love to her 4 times a day, etc. She wants the outside and the inside fulfilled. That’s not to say something is wrong with her for wanting.

I will agree that we as Black women can’t have these requirements of Black men. I say this strictly because there are not that many Black men to go around in the first place, who don’t have kids, don’t have bad credit, don’t have a record, don’t strictly date outside of their race, don’t have a disease, don’t degrade women, aren’t already married, aren’t old, aren’t gay, aren’t abusive, aren’t in jail, and/or aren’t dead. When we put all of these ‘must-haves’ on someone, we limit ourselves.

I think a simple list of attractiveness, employment, basic items met (car, house, benefits, etc), few to no kids, and a good sex game is not too much to ask for; if he doesn’t cheat, smoke, drink, isn’t abusive, etc, that’s all the better. I’m not saying settle, but do limit or tone down what isn’t a must-have!