She Got It // Tionna Smalls

Written by Shaleia R /// Find in Interviews

Who is Tionna Smalls? The first time some of us had ever heard of her was on the VH1 hit show, "What Chilli Wants". Although she may have been unknown to some before her national TV debut, she has been building a name for herself and is already a rising star. She is a Brooklyn native, the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right!, has a no holds bar attitude, oh and did I mention she's a love "expert"? You can catch her on "What Chilli Wants", dishing out real advice and telling Chilli what she needs to do to get a man.

Sometimes women don't want to hear the truth when it comes to dating but when Tionna is your coach, you have no choice but to listen, if you know whats good for you.

Find out what makes her the perfect coach for Chilli, their real off camera relationship, love tips all women need to know and what goes on in her own love life.

Empress:How did you get involved in “What Chilli Wants”? Is reality TV something you are really interested in?

Tionna: One day I got a phone call about the show, the producers knew me from my former advice column  “Ask Tionna” at Gawker.com and they thought that I was the perfect woman to help find Chilli love.

Empress: You probably get this question a lot, “what makes you certified to tell people about their love life”?

Tionna: I am just a real girl that has been through situations or witnessed situations and I just call it how I see it. It’s not that I have a PHD in lovelogy or anything like that, if you know about relationships or been through a lot you kind of know. I think women know what they need to do when it comes to love; they just don’t usually do it. 

I talk to a lot of people about love all day. Believe it or not that was my life before I even got on the show. I could be on the train and hear someone talking about love and be in their business. I’m just that type of person. 

Empress: Is there any truth to the rumors that you and Chilli are not getting along? Are you two on speaking terms? How is the relationship now?

Tionna: We were never friends in the beginning. I was hired to do a job and we were cool, we are just professionally cool. She’s not my “bestie”, I have my friends and she has hers. Don’t get me wrong, in the beginning I took things personal but now that I’ve been in this business for the last few weeks , I don’t care what people say or do.  She is cool with me and I am cool with her, you just have to learn I guess. You live and you learn.

Empress: Oh I thought you two were friends before?

Tionna: We were never friends before, I don’t know why people think that. The show even tells you in the first episode we weren’t friends before. She first met me while doing the show. SHE WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY to help her find love and she met me. 

Empress: That is the misconception, I guess you see the first episode about you two not being friends, but then you forget it.

Tionna: People just have to read and listen a little more (lol). Trust me you are not the first person to ask me this. I think because we have such good chemistry on the show, people think we already knew each other. When you’re from East New York - we like you until we don’t like you anymore (lol)

Empress: Do you find it hard to totally be yourself on TV while not seeming harsh or too hard on Chilli? 

Tionna: I think sometimes people dig too much into the title of the show. Ok, so I am helping her find love so I’m supposed to be this nice girl that helps her? However, I was hired to be me and the producers knew how my attitude was already. So I don’t think I come off as harsh, I just come off as very real and I don’t think people see that on TV a lot. So it’s like ‘OMG what is wrong with this girl”. I am mad Brooklyn, so with those two things together, you got me.  I can’t be what America wants me to be. 

Empress: In your bio you said after ending a 6 year relationship you began to think of all the mistakes you may have made. Which mistake stands out the most to you and do you think most women make the same mistake in relationships?

Tionna: When I was in that relationship, I thought I knew everything about love. Once you’ve been in a long term relationship you think you are a pro, but when I started dating again I realized these dudes are off the chain. Then I realized it’s not about the dudes being off the chain it’s really what you allow and accept and that’s how the “Girl, get your mind right” movement began.

 I think the biggest mistake I have ever made in a relationship was when I was young and it was getting comfortable. Gaining weight, not wanting to get cute anymore just not caring, having boogers in the nose (lol). You stop caring once you got him. But that was when I was young. I don’t make those mistakes now. I was younger then, you have to take those granny panties off, you have to keep your hair done, or put on a wig - it’s whatever you have to do to look decent. Nobody wants to see someone ugly all day, that’s just the way it goes. 

Empress: What is one simple dating tip you could give every woman whether she is in a relationship or not?

Tionna: For a single woman who is not dating at all, I think the one tip I can say is, stay away from other people's men. Sometimes girls who are single get really desperate and they will do whatever. If a man has a little situation, he is not leaving his woman for you. So don’t even fall for the Okie Doke.  

When it comes to a single woman who is not married, I think the one thing that they need to do is keep a hobby. A lot of times when we are dating someone we lose ourselves. We can’t even have a dinner with the girlfriends because we are so caught up in him. You have to have your own life  no matter who you are with.

Empress: Sticking to single woman topic, how do you feel about the new “most black women will die single and unmarried” epidemic? 

Tionna: I don’t agree with that at all. I don’t think that black women will never get married, I hate that thinking,. I think it is such a stereotype. Some people won’t get married but not all, we can’t base it on that. Sometimes you have to look outside of your race and think outside the box. Women still have chances to get married, so I don’t believe in that epidemic. Almost every woman in my family is married, young and old.

Empress: Are you dating right now? Is marriage in your future? 

Tionna: Yes, definitely. I am planning now. You don’t know my man? You have to go to twitter, I always have his picture up (lol).

Empress: Wait, are we talking engaged or just plans for the future? 

Tionna: It’s like none of your business (lol). Just know we handle our B.I. (business). We are learning that weddings are very expensive, especially the things I like.

Empress: How long have you two been together?  

Tionna: For two years, in June. I ride for my man now and most of all, he rides for me. I think a lot of women have to look for a man that will be with you during the good times and bad times. My man holds me down, that is how we roll. 

It’s a good relationship. It wasn’t always like that. A lot of times people think because you write about relationships, you have the perfect relationship. No we don’t have the perfect relationship at all. Everyday we learn something new about each other. That is some of the misconceptions that people have. At the end of the day, a GYN needs their own GYN, a teacher needs a teacher and a psychiatrist needs a psychiatrist. 

Empress: As for your career, are you open to coaching other women. Do you foresee yourself doing this in the future? What can we expect from you? 

Tionna: There are ladies coming up to me in the street and hitting me on Facebook saying “Tionna I need your help, or hook me up with a guy”. I’m turning into the black Abby now (lol).” So I am going to see how it works out for me, just pray for me.

Also, you can expect the re-release of my book "Girl, Get Your Mind Right". I am signed to a major so it will be even bigger and better than before.