Ask Him /// Passion Starved

I have tried to seduce him to no avail.  I have talked to him, hasn't worked.  He has no libido. It's crazy because our problems early in our relationship were mainly because he loved to chase tail.   I have suggested Viagra and he says he doesn't need it and all he needs is to be well rested.  He's been yanking my chain with that one for years and I'm still waiting for him to get enough rest. 

I'm sweet.  I keep up my attractiveness.  I even recently had some body sculpting plastic surgery and I look fabulous.  I love him,  I know he loves me and we have a very nice life together except for the fact that I am totally sexually frustrated.  We get along great and enjoy the same things and that means a lot but the older I get, the more I want to be banged like a screen door in a hurricane.

I've never cheated on my husband but now I have such a strong desire for sex,  I can't say I never will.  My sexual energy has always been CRAZY and I would love to be with my husband.  (Or my sexy plastic surgeon, ya feel me?) I need help.

- Passion-starved, Philadelphia

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You guys have been married 20 years which is a long time. There could be several reasons why your sexual relationship is this way.  The first thing I think you need to do is communicate to him how sexually frustrated you really are because what's obvious to some isn't always obvious to others.  He may not think it's that big of a deal.  You have to express to him that you have never resulted to cheating and you dont want that to become an option.   When a woman says that to a guy you really get their attention because at first they'll be angry that it's even a thought but they'll realize that you could've been doing that all along without even confronting him with the problem.  The next thing you need to do is think of all the kinky and exciting things you guys used to do when you first met to spice things up.  Over 20 years everything must become really mundane and routine. You both have to make an effort to change the scenery a bit to make things unpredictable, which I know will be hard after being married for so long, but marriage is work and no one said it would be easy.  Another thing you guys could do is surprise eachother from time to time by going totally out of character and fulfilling fantasies for eachother.  Whether its dressing up or playing roles, this will definitely change things sexually for him and yourself.  If these things don't work, his sexual attention and libido is probably focused on someone else already. He just may not be into you anymore.    That would be sad after 20 years of marriage but its possible and its reality.  Before acusing him of anything, try the things I mentioned and see what happens. - Signing off once again, Hollywood

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